Why I Hate The Word *Destiny*
by Amouse16
Summary: Antar fic, Zan will be King soon and he must marry Ava and produce an heir, but he already has a soulmate...


Zan stood at the window ledge and looked out over the kingdom

"Why I hate the word DESTINY"

Author: Adrienne

E-mail: [Amouse16@lycos.com][1]

Rating: PG/PG-13

Author's Note: Antar/Earth story dealing with the past lives of The Royal Four. Liz is "Zilla" name borrowed from "How to Disappear Completely" by: Deidre. 1st draft, so I would Love feedback! Thanks! =0)

Zan stood at the window ledge and looked out over the kingdom. Midnight was his favorite time to admire the vast land of Antar. Millions of stars shone in the sky and the rich darkness was pierced with the light of the two waning moons. He sighed in contentment; it was times like this he didn't mind being the crowned prince- he really almost enjoyed it. He shook his head and let the thought fly away. In the harsh light of day everything was different. Zan couldn't let sentiment stand in the way of his escape.

He jumped from the ledge to the large tree that stood a foot from he window. He carefully made his way down. Zan felt a shock go through his legs as he hit ground and let out a barely audible grunt.

"Not your best time." A female voice said in the darkness. "I've seen you get down that tree in under a minute."

Zan's eyes hadn't yet adjusted to the night but he knew it was Zilla. "What are you doing here?"

She laughed and a sharp wind blew around them, pulling Zan's cloak away from him, exposing his partly unbuttoned shirt. Zilla pushed the shirt away so she could see the tattoo that covered the skin over his heart. She traced the royal seal absently, "Don't pretend you don't know me as well as I know you."

"You said you wouldn't come back." Zan said, sadly, not bothering to keep the hurt out of his voice.

"That was before I knew you were going to try this."

"Did Lonnie tell you?" He asked, angrily.

"Your dad would be furious if he knew you called your beloved sister _Vilandra_ Lonnie." Zilla said with a soft smirk.

"You didn't answer the question."

"You know the answer." Zilla said, "I know you. I knew you'd try this."

"They're making me marry Ava tomorrow." Zan said.

Zilla wrapped her arms around him and he buried his head in her thick black hair, "I know."

"I don't want to."

"You must."

"Why? Why must I do things I don't wish to do?"

"Because you are king."

"Prince." He corrected automatically.

"Prince for now. King soon." Zilla told him.

Zan closed his eyes in defeat, "I'm not ready yet."

"Soon." Zilla repeated.

"Why did my father ever throw your out?" Zan wondered, "You have a gift. We needed an advisor like you, like your father before you, someone we could trust."

Zilla laughed softly, "I think your father changed his mind about me when he found us in bed together."

Despite the humiliating memory Zan had to laugh, "He wasn't pleased. I was to save myself for Ava."

"He didn't want any illegitimate princes running around." Zilla said with a smile.

"What else have you seen?" Zan asked, serious again. Zilla's gift of seeing the future had saved him one more than one occasion. 

"Khivar."

"Where?"

"I'm not sure. He's close, Zan. Too close. The war is coming."

"That's what everyone has been saying for years. Where is the war? Let's just fight it and be done with it!" He cried in exasperation.

"Oh, no, my love!" She cried, horrified, "Zan, Zan, don't wish for trouble. Antar is strong, but Khivar is stronger."

"Let's run away." Zan begged, taking Zilla's hands in his, "Let's run away forever and never look back!"

Zilla took her hands out of his and smiled, though it didn't reach her eyes, "No one can run away forever."

Zan smiled then, she had a way about her. She had knowledge her peers didn't. She was an asset to the crown. Zilla's father had passed his knowledge, his gifts onto her and though she was young when he died she was asked to stay on at the castle as Royal Advisor. She had audiences with the King and Prince Zan, who fell in love with her. They both tried to deny their attraction, knowing Zan had been promised to Countess Ava at birth. But eventually they ended up in eachothers arms and were discovered by the king, and Zilla was cast out. She left the kingdom and settled on the very outskirts of a small town. 

Zan enlisted Rath's help to look for Zilla and finally found her, though she begged him to leave he refused to go without her. So she went back to the kingdom with them and made a new home for herself in a tiny servant's cottage though Zan offered her a large villa near the castle. She insisted that she liked the small quarters, they were more fitting for her. And even though Zan insisted she had a grace worthy of a queen she reminded him that she was a simple villager. 

"Maybe just for a little while." Zan suggested tentatively, and Zilla realized she had drifted away.

"There's no time. You're needed."

"You know what they'll make me do if I marry Ava." Zan said bitterly, "The maritial bed isn't for sleeping you know." Zilla shivered at the thought of her prince with anyone but her and Zan instantly felt bad. "Sorry." He mumbled under his breath.

"You're a prince," Zilla laughed, "I'm quite sure princes don't apologize."

"I'm not good at being a prince." Zan whined.

"And princes are stoic." She added, then paused, "But not with me. I like when you have doubts, then you're Antarian, like me."

"Tell me I can be with you." He begged, "Don't ask me to go back there." They both knew if Zilla asked, he would return to the castle, he never could deny her anything.

"Zan, you must. You will do what you were born to do, that's all there is to it." 

Zan pulled her to him and kissed her, even though she knew she should fight him, she sighed and gave into the kiss. When he finally, reluctantly pulled away she rested his forehead against hers and tried to calm his heavy breathing, "I just-just had to do that one more time before I was married…I don't know how I will manage to kiss, to touch another."

Zilla smiled at the power she had over Zan and felt very good about having the ability to drive the crowned prince of Antar just a little crazy. "You have a good imagination, pretend it's me."

"She won't say my name like you do."

"Your mother will be at your door in moments. If she finds you gone…"

"Will I be allright?" Zan asked.

"Of course!"

"No, no, you know what I mean, don't answer me as a lover, answer me as someone who sees the future: will I be allright?"

"Of course." Zilla repeated tenderly, "Now go." He nodded and hurried up the tree, pausing at the ledge to smile at her before climbing into his chambers. She sighed, he had no idea she was lying. Zilla knew the truth, and what she was going to do about it.

iii

Zilla was watching from a cliff when she saw Zan fall to the dirt, slipping on the mud and blood that stained the rich grounds of Antar. One tear fell down her face, but she quickly bit back her emotions, she had work to do.

Rath had told her a long time ago where the Granolith was- a well guarded instrument that would be used to save the planet, should it ever need saving. Zilla knew it would be used in a few hours and she must hurry if she was to execute her plan. 

The King had died a few months before and Zan had been crowned King- only weeks after war broke out. He was unprepared. Khivar knew that. Zan didn't stand a chance. Ava had been killed first, her body was found mutilated on the royal bed, a clear act of war, they had no choice but to retaliate. Rath had been killed in the first wave of the war, his years of experience had made him cocky. And now, she had seen Zan fall, no woman wants to see her love fall. The only one of the "Royal Four" that was MIA was Vilandra, but Zilla was sure she would appear sooner or later, maybe she was working with the generals, planning the next attack. Lonnie had a taste for war that her father never indulged. 

Zilla ran as fast as she could to the granolith chamber and as she burst in she heard the Queen say, "If we can send them to another world with the granolith, when they've matured they can return and save Antar from Khivar, but we must act quickly."

Zilla burst in, breathless, "I'll go too!"

The queen looked at her sharply, though she had never had any real contempt for Zilla, but after years of being poisoned against her by her husband, the King she had grown to dislike the small woman who had captured her son's heart and had caused controversy in the castle.

"You're not one of the Royal Four."

"I've helped them! Before I was cast out I was an asset to the crown! I can help them now!"

"History will repeat itself, Zan and Ava, Rath and Vilandra…they will remain together, remain strong. We're sending Nasado with them, to watch over them and to one day tell them their destinys." She gave Zilla a condescending glance, "You have nothing to do with them."

"Khivar will follow them. He will make Earth home and try to rule there as he will rule here. Zan, Rath, Vilandra….Even Ava can come back here and regain control of the throne when they're ready. They can rebuild Antar and make it great again." Zilla grabbed the Queen's arm and pulled her closer, to look into her eyes, not caring about the laws she broke by doing so, "But without me they won't. Just now I've told you things it would have taken years to find out." She sadly pulled a knife from her boot and held it up so it glared in the light, "I won't be in the way…Don't let my death be in vain." 

The Queen screamed as the knife bit into flesh, spilling blood…

iii

A hazy blue light filled the dark cave and a woman appeared before the teens. Max reached out as if to touch her, then abruptly jerked his hand away, embarrassed as the realization hit him that this was merely a hologram.

"If you are seeing me now, it means that you are alive and well. I take this form because it will be familiar to you, and it will help you to understand what I am about to say. You have lived before. You perished in the conflict that enslaves our planet but your essence was duplicated, cloned, and mixed with human genetic materials so that you might be recreated into human beings. My son, you were the beloved leader of our people. I have sent with you your young bride. My daughter, the man you were betrothed to, and your brother's second-in-command."

Liz thought, _she didn't mention me._ She shook her head, _don't be silly_! She warned herself, she knew she wasn't one of them…but why did she feel the pull to Max? It felt so old surely it couldn't have been from this lifetime. And if the "Royal Four" had been able to move their souls from one body to another, one _world_ to another, maybe hers had traveled here too from some other time, in search of Max? "This is just the kind of thinking that will get you in trouble." She mumbled to herself, and the vision of the Queen disappeared with one final "look" at her family. Even though she couldn't be seeing them, couldn't possibly know someone else was watching, Liz thought she saw the woman look at her with disapproval.

She faintly heard the voices of her friends, words of shock, awe, fear, hope fell from their lips. She wasn't listening, but then Max touched her and she was hurtled back into reality, "Everything I told you is still true." He assured her.

She almost nodded before she caught herself and something from the very depths of her soul cried, "No!" But the way he looked at her, touched her, how could she resist him? "You have a destiny, you just head it, I can't stand in the way of that." How she hated the word _destiny._

_ _

"But you mean everything to me."

Whatever was telling her to walk away and never look back relented to her request for one final kiss. Her lips brushed against his, _"Oh, Max,"_ She sighed across the connection, _"I always knew you were special. I bet you were a wonderful prince."_

And then she ran out of the cave, she tried not to look back, but had to once, just for a moment. At the anguish on his face she turned and ran as far and as fast as she could, when her body finally fell to the ground in exhaustion she gulped in oxygen till she thought her lungs would burst. She wandered into town and could've cried out in relief when she arrived at the Crashdown. She ran upstairs to her room and collapsed on the bed.

She wept and drifted in and out of sleep for hours. When she finally rose from bed because she had to relieve herself she glow of the moonlight gleamed against the bright metal of a knife that rested on her desk. Her Grandma Claudia's knife. It had been a gift from a tribe she had studied in Africa, Liz had asked to keep it. Almost without thought Liz walked over to it and picked it up in her hands, feeling the powerful weight of it.

Again she felt a presence that had been her in another life. She snorted, she didn't believe in reincarnation and now she thought she had lived before. "Heartache does weird things to people." She put it down and turned away, heading towards the bathroom.

Yet she couldn't get the gleam of the knife out of her mind. She had had a knife before, had used it. For Max. No…Not quite Max, but close. Liz closed her eyes to the knowledge that she would use it again if she had to. She was not here to be a burden, to hurt the Prince, she was to help, protect. If she couldn't do that, what good was she? Liz flicked the light on, letting the florescent lights of the bathroom drown out the moonlight.

"I won't be in the way…"

   [1]: mailto:Amouse16@lycos.com



End file.
